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Whats True Love Really Is

Shots of Awe

One of my favorite is Chirs Nolan’s inception and it’s all about the workings of the mind, the world and dreams and imagination and there’s a key motif that recurs throughout the film and that’s the power of love. To fill you to envelop you in feelings of grace and faith and safety. Like this cosmic safeties, intersubjective safety that you experience when you create a universe with another person and there’s a line; I’m going to paraphrase it from the film that really sums up this feeling and it goes like this:

You’re waiting for a train. You don’t know where this train will take you but it doesn’t matter, because you’ll be together.

Of course the context being that when you find that person, in whose eyes you feel reflected and you feel enveloped about it, that you enter the forever box, you enter a wholy space, a space where you are rendered whole and you are rendered wholly together and this space, the space of the God, the space of Adam and Eve, outside of time, outside of mind, outside of fear and outside of life, no longer has uncertainty. Life, no longer had potential dangers. You don’t care where this train is going, you don’t know where this train of life will take you, because it no longer matters. Because you’ll be together as you can see why this line is so captivating to me, because I’ve known this kind of love, I’ve tasted this kind of rapture and rhapsody.

I’ve stared into the iris of a lover’s eye. l’ve cried as she cries, we’ve shared an experience of being moved together, we’ve both been absolved from our contradictions, we’ve experienced this rapture in rhapsody and I know for a fact that this is exactly what the film meant. In this line, it’s like you no longer worry about the future because you are now into the forever box with this person holding hand in the Garden of Eden, and my God, is that an intoxicating experience to fall out of that love is to be burned.

Breakups are death practice. You fall into the fucking void. How do you recover from them and how do you get over that burning in the belly? That anxiety, that trauma, that is so afraid of experiencing, that death practice, again and again and again. Every time you look at a pretty girl walking down the street and so this is my ongoing unfolding, this is my journey, this is my yearning to find that person again and to be absolved from my fears and to say to myself, I don’t know where this train will take me but it doesn’t matter because we’ll be together.

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