To Be or Not to Be a ‘Burger’

Ok so let me get this straight, being a burger is not as easy as it seems. It requires serious level effort to not break down once in a while and keep going as a burger in a society such as ours.
What does it mean to be a burger? It’s not just wearing jeans and shirt, it’s a state of mind.

It’s also endurance, especially when you are taunted with comments like “Landay ke angraiz’ or ‘desi liberals’ and I could go on…. ( but I’m trying to hold back tears )

Burgerism was first initiated in Islamabad by the onset of setting A Level education system in some private schools that specially targeted the rich, who were the most likely to convert to Burgerism as they already were into English mannerisms and went abroad on trips.

Or that is just when it became more ‘out there’. Who knows some burgers might have been operating under the shadows for years ( and now they could come out )
Here’s a picture from some Hotel in 1970’s Karachi with early signs of Burgerism to prove that:

Anyways, slowly the pandemic spread out to the Southern lands and our lives were never the same.
Like they say, when you use an older version of a phone, you are content, because you don’t know any better. As soon as your hand touches an apple, there IS no going back.

When I said state of mind I didn’t just mean to be ‘liberal’ but more like, a  combination of a certain characteristics that puts a person on the ‘spectrum’.

In some rare cases, even unexpected people develop burger tendencies. So we shouldn’t just limit ourselves by judging books by their covers. That being said, I want to point out that IT IS NOT EASY. Why? Because you my friend will enter a mind space that will confuse the hell out of your freaking brains. You will be all these urdu ‘mahawaras’ :

‘Dhobi ka kutta, na ghar ka na ghaat ka”

‘Kawwa challa huns ki chaal, apni bhi bhool gya”

And many more to haunt you for life.

Then comes the dilemma of how burger to be in different situations, because in some situations what you’re thinking will seriously weird out the hell out of other people so you have to tackle the delicate issue, whether to expose yourself or not, and in other situations you might feel like you ain’t burger enough.

Also I need to add, sometimes, a certain breed of burgers are also a source serious disappointment to our community ( there I said it ) because they only ‘dress’ as burgers apparently, but then will make unenlightened and uninformed comments about those who do not fulfill their personal criteria of living life.

And sometimes  they would put down their own culture and things that come with it like songs, skin tones, cloths. ( so watch out for those ). Or watch out becoming one of those.

But it’s not all bad, there are a few perks too. First of all, even if most people will deny it, but people do envy burgers for their style. It is a good ego boost.

Also you feel like you got good education and enlightenment and not that usual ‘ratta’ system we have in our country,

A level education opens up our minds because we are taught to think conceptually. It develops a sense of curiosity, creativity and individualism in you.

The biggest and the most confusing of hurdles come when you have to enter university. Behold, now you no longer are only in the herd of like-minded people but an amalgamation ranging from Lahori girls ( the  papa’s princesses ) , the girls having this specific photo as their facebook profile :

and of course the fraaanship boys.

And if you belong to a smaller city, the stress is double, as you are sure to be the only Burger in your university. Netflix is still there to save you!

And then you wonder, To Be or not to Be (A Burger)

There will moments you will think, to hell with burgerism, I’m going to go wear patiala shalwar and chill out a dhabba and eat pan.

Identity crisis is a serious side effect. Sometimes you desperately want to enjoy desi stuff, but your inner burger creates a certain wall. The best way to handle it, is to find a good balance where you can be comfortable enough in your own skin to hang out with any kind of people.

The tip I will most recommend is to be non-judgemental. Because we are who we are, which is ‘brown’ at the end of the day, embracing it while maintaining your own niche is the best way to go. And like a burger have many layers.

And don’t worry you’ll make it! Also because you basically have to, as the said disease is irreversible. In that case there is hope. Hope that you’ll never get married.


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