It is no doubt that every person who walks on this Earth possesses a different and unique personality. More often than not these different personalities come in contrast with the world we live in. Such is the case with introverted children who are raised in this very extroverted world of today.
I, as an individual, am too an introvert. But I consider myself an introvert who tends to take on an extrovert face from time to time. The task of raising an introvert in this extroverted world is a challenge in its own.
With this pressure to out-do or simply compete with the crowd for children with the external environments is ironically one of the reasons that create even more problems for introverts to break out of their shell.
William Doherty, Ph.D., a family therapist and professor of family social science at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, agrees that the pressures parents place on their children to be sociable have reached a fever pitch.
The adult world has become so competitive and market-driven that we no longer buffer our children from those pressures,” he says. “Today, middle class parents feel they have to be the conductors of their children’s social lives. How likable and popular your child is becomes a reflection on your idea of your own success.”
Parents, often push their introverted children to be outgoing, even though the latest thinking from experts who study introversion indicates that pressure is the exact opposite of what they need.
Because introverts are so widely misunderstood, knowing how to raise one can be a challenge. Experts say parents and other grown-ups in these children’s lives need to stop pushing them to be something they aren’t and instead help them make the most of their strengths despite societal pressures to conform to the extroverted lifestyle.
Following this belief, I agree that pressure and annoyance towards a child only makes them anxious, insecure and unsure of themselves. This leads to them forming patterns of doubt and despair in their minds which bring out self-destructive behavior in them.
Instead of reacting positively to criticism, the child starts to react negatively and sometimes completely block out all ‘advice’ directed at them to further dive into the shell they need to get out of. But something to understand is that not all introverts need their shells broken. It’s a hard concept to stomach but it’s true. Being socially anxious and being socially unconcerned are two completely different things, yes there are several types of introversion.
Parents need to first try to understand their child and then push them into things they deem important for them. Not everyone is made for everything. Understand your child’s aptitudes, abilities and interests first.
Doubting someone’s intellect and ability based on their social interactions is very wrong. The way someone chooses to spend their time or engage in social activity has nothing particular to do with their mental ability.