“Oh my God, she got engaged? I knew she was hiding something from us! Bari ‘meesni’ ha yaar!” We hear this word a lot, we say this word a lot. She got slimmer, meesni, a new dress, meesni, she got a job, she’s earning money, she’s getting rich, she’s opening business, she’s getting into a relationship, she’s going abroad. The explanation for all these events is that the woman in question is “Meesni”. We call this to the people we expected to tell us everything that happens in their life you know who those people are? “Everyone!”
I heard a quotation once that “If you want to succeed, you have to get far away from friends and family for a while” which is true in a context, that you will be avoiding judgements, shrewdness and discrimination that will come from the side of the very people you worked along with. This is because the people who have nothing to do with your life expect a lot from you and get hurt when you don’t ask for they opinion, and when you do they are the ones that actually destroy your choices, discourage you and confine you to a specific circle. My teacher used to quote this “Apni sharton pe jeenay walon ko qeemtain chukani parti hain” and I think he was right, because all the opposition all the “tundiyay baad e mukhalif” as Iqbal used to say, that the person faces is just too much.
In some cases, we are facing this and, in some cases, we are the trouble. The thing we don’t understand is how much our words can affect someone’s mind and motivations. It’s a real silent road that requires a lot of courage and sacrifices. So, people if you see someone struggling around you, don’t expect too much from them and make it about yourself. Instead be supportive, accept them and their choices and be silent if you can’t readily support them. Don’t say that whatever you are doing will go in vain, don’t make an expression that will make them feel less about themselves, don’t make them feel wasted merely because of your own jealousy.
In the tough path of their destiny this is the least that you can do.